Friday, June 27, 2008

No, I didn't fall off the face of the earth!

They say the pathway to hell is paved with good intentions. I had every intention to start blogging again. Then 'this' happened one morning. And then 'that' happened one evening.

But anyway...I'm slowly getting accustomed to our new arrangements around here. Kenny started a new position at work which should ease our financial burdens. But it's a steady night turn position. I HATE night turn. It wouldn't be that bad if he worked the "4, 10's" (like the job is scheduled) but he works 11 hours every day and it's never just four days. Last week he work 6 days straight. And this week he went out on Sunday night and will work through next Thursday morning. Yep! That's 12 days straight. I could deal with it if he had the weekends off. But that rarely happens.

I seriously went through the five stages of grief. I told him that money doesn't mean that much to me. We're doing ok. He felt otherwise. I said I didn't get married to sleep alone, damn it - he said it won't always be like this. I said I would try to get more hours at work. He said he doesn't want me to have to work at all. I cried for days (and in front of him.) He would hug me and tell things are going to be better. Finally, when none of that worked - I just accepted it. In order for him to "make a name for himself" out there, he had to take this job. And as much as I hate to admit it, everyone on the maintenance crew (the highest paying job in the yard) was on night turn at one time or another. So, I have to do what my mother says: Suck it up, be a supportive wife and stop making him feel guilty for trying to better our situation. But there is a bright side to all of this. When he still worked at Veka he would be on daylight for two weeks and night turn for two weeks. And I hated it! I never saw him. By the time he got home in the morning I had already left for work. He would get up just in time to eat dinner and then leave again. But now, I can see him in the morning for a few hours. And he gets up about 2 hours before leaving at night. So I can see him then too. It still sucks. But at least it's better than before. And the extra money means we can go to my sister's in August!!!!!

Now on to more fun updates. The boys are in Ohio this weekend preparing to walk their mom down the aisle! Since my cousin is getting married here in PA on the same day, I can't be there. But it's being videotaped and I can watch that. I'm so proud of them. I'm proud of Kerry. And I couldn't be happier for her and Greg. The boys get along fantastically with Greg and with his kids. Things are looking up everywhere!!

And knowing that all good things come from Above - I praise the Lord and His infinite wisdom in knowing what's best for us and our family. And I marvel at His timing. Clearly, His plan is far better than mine.

My plans for tonight - visiting everyone and staying for a cuppa! Much love to each and everyone of you!

21 comments:

Kari (GrannySkywalker) said...

Wow, Julie, great to see you!!!

I can so relate on the money struggles. We raised 4 kids at home and helped support 2 more (my husband's older kids) on one salary. And not a big salary, either. Luckily, we didn't have to pay huge amounts of child support (ridiculously small, actually) so that helped. I worked every now and then, but circumstances with my daughter prevented me from working for long stretches at a time. It was rough. Very, very rough. And you know, it's not that "having money" means so much to a person, it's more how NOT having money can put way too much stress on a family. Especially if you see others around you who have so much more. My sister and her husband both worked, made pretty darn good money, and only had 2 kids. Naturally, they could always afford to do more and have more. It was hard to see sometimes, when we were struggling so. It was particularly painful to see my kids noticing the differences. Anyway, your husband is right. It won't be like this forever. When you get down about the money, the lack of time with your husband, the struggle in general, keep telling yourself "This too shall pass". Say it over and over and over because I promise you, no truer words were ever spoken. All things change eventually. And the struggles make you appreciate the good times all that much more.

So glad to see you back, though. I know it can be a bit tough to get back into blogging on a regular basis after being gone for awhile (been there, done that. lol). My advice? Focus on doing your posts...you can worry about checking in with everybody else later when you're more into the routine. I spent so much time trying to tell everyone I was back that blogging started to feel like a chore to me. Now I visit people when I can and plug along with my own blog in an effort to just keep the process going.

Chin up, Julie! The world loves you (this part of it, for sure!!)

Kari

Jan said...

So great to see you back at it! I could almost duplicate Kari's comment. Money is a big, big issue with us right now and it always causes some sort of friction! Things WILL work out and life continues as it's supposed to! Keep praying and know that prayers are being said for you!

Jan

Anita said...

Wow! It's so great to see you!!
I can relate, too, about the money issues...

I'm just so glad you're back! :)

justabeachkat said...

Yeah! Our Julie is back! You're back, right?! Come on, nod your head up and down. Come on...you can do it! (picture me doing a cheerleader jump...hmmmm, maybe not)

I've sure missed you girl. I've been in your shoes at one point in our life. Both with the lack of enough money and with a husband who had to travel out of town all week long. Not fun being alone so much and practically raising the kids alone. But, because of his sacrifice, we live rather well now. Praise God. I have a plaque that I look at when I need to be reminded...it says "Put on your big girl panties and deal with it!".

I'm dealing with another cancer scare, so please keep me in your prayers. We're heading to UAB in Birmingham for more testing on Monday and Tuesday.

So glad to have you back.
Hugs!
Kat

Brenda said...

Girl I am so glad to know you are alive. I didn't know what in the world. I was afraid the glue messed up Kennys eye and you couldn't deal with it and went nuts.I was afraid to ask.
I am glad things are getting better. Hang in there you are strong.

Counting Your Blessings said...

Julie, Julie!!! I've missed you. Still marvel at your relationship with the boys mom. I understand about that awful night shift. My ex worked 3rd shift (11-7) all of the 9 years we were married unless, of course, he was on a swing shift! I'm proud of you for accepting it and looking at the positive. Keep encouraging him and the boys. God will bless you for it! Hugs...Polly

joan said...

Julie,

You're back!! I missed your posts and your sweet encouragement! I hope you get to see you hubby more and I hope you are back to stay. You have been missed in the blogging world!

Anonymous said...

Well I'll be, Julie's back. I am so glad, keep it up.

Love,
Mommy Ha,ha

Penny @ Lavender Hill Studio said...

Julie!
I am so glad you stopped by my blog for a visit! So good to see you again...

I can only imagine how hard it is to have your husband work nights. It has to be lonely. But, he sounds like such a wonderful man, working hard for you both. I am sure that it is just temporary and things will get better soon.
Hugs,
Penny

Dena ~ swaddlecottage said...

Yay!!!! Our Julie is back!!! I've missed you :) I can relate, my hubby worked nights and massive OT for a long time. Sometimes you just have to grit your teeth and push through it.

Hugs,
Dena

BittersweetPunkin said...

Julie!! I was so happy to see your comment on my blog!! Welcome back Darlin!!

This is just a Season that you have to go through to get to the next one...it will pass soon enough and you will be all the better for it!

I have a hard time when I am separated from my Hubby too but I think we appreciate eachother all the more...and it's nice to miss and be missed sometimes too!!

SO SO glad to see you!!
BIG GIGANTIC HUGS,
Robin

Mary said...

Hi Julie!
How wonderful to hear from you! I'm so glad you are back!!! I know how you feel about missing your husband -- when we were first married, I worked days and my husband worked nights. The only day we saw each other was Sundays. It wasn't easy, but it was not forever...

Actually, we did it again 13 years later, when he went to law school, and worked nights...

But the point is, don't make him feel bad about working hard for the ones he loves -- support him. Stand by your man.

Yikes, can you believe I just said that? Me, an old feminist? LOL

Anyway, hang in there -- it will all work out in the end! So glad you are back!!!
xoxo,
Mary

cityfarmer said...

I can feel your pain...also know what it is like wanting to blog and not being able to...the wedding of my son is now past and I can on with summer.


Glad to see you name over at my blog.
hugs

Kari & Kijsa said...

So good to hear from you! Glad to hear all is going well!

Have a blessed and wonderful day!

smiles, kari & kijsa

Donna said...

Hi Julie,
It's nice to have you back again. I'm sorry things are tough right now with the night shift and all. My hubby leaves on a Monday and doesn't return till Friday. So I only get to see him on weekends. I fill my days with things that make me happy.
Things will work out and I know they will get better! Stay positive and keep smiling.
Hugs,
Donna

Rosie's Whimsy said...

Hi Julie! Too bad about the night shift. That is a bummer but all will work for good I am sure. Take care :-) Rosie

BellaColle' said...

Howdy! Thanks so much for stopping by!
I hope you can take a deep breath.. and Trust the Lord! Things will get better.
Heres a ((hug!)) God is soo good and faithful.
Even though things may seem hard right now..God is polishing you into the jewel He knows you are!
OX
~Christine

Melissa @ The Inspired Room said...

Julie, so happy to hear from you. I can relate to your struggles as I think many women can. Not necessarily the night shift, but just the hard working man syndrome!

My dad has always worked above and beyond the call of duty and our family lived very comfortably as a result. Yes, we would've liked him to work less at times, but we also enjoyed the stability his hard work provided to us. There is something to be said for being able to afford life and the simple things one needs! And the thought that we can give to someone less fortunate if we are not financially strapped ourselves makes hard work even more attractive. Hard work is a virtue, I think, so I agree with you in supporting him as he tries to hard to support you. That is commendable on both your parts. All in good balance!!

Yes, short people get the short end of the stick! PJs are too long. Clothes are too long. Shelves are too high. Our legs look too stubby. :-)

So good to have you back. Missed you so much!

Melissa

Melissa @ The Inspired Room said...

PS. oops, the short people was in reference to your next post, I read them at the same time and should've saved my comment for the other post. :-) Leave it to me...crazy commenter.

xo

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